September 22, 2005

Voicemail from "previous former" girlfriend and my response(I call her "previous former" because I never liked the word ex)

Sitting in a Wyoming watering hole~, last night my phone starts to ring.... I look at the caller identification it says "do not answer, please!"

A minute or so later the voicemail chime went off. Attached is a transcript of the message.

I have also attached my message in response to hers.

Her message

"Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, what to do with dear old Jesse. I guess you are somewhere doing something. God knows what, but, well... regardless I hope you are well or at least not dead yet. You know I love you baby, well not in that way, at least not before I were to get drunk then I become lovey dovey then we might have a chance in that way, though I did not call you to say that. I called you to ask if you knew a good accountant, I dunno just thought you might, so what am I saved in your phone these days? As long as it is not "Drunk whore" or anything sensationalized such as that, cuz well I am not either one, at the moment at least."

My Response deposited in her voicemail box quite unceremoniously
"You are in my phonebook as "Do not answer please" I know a couple of bean counters, depends on what you want them for. CPAwise I use..... Taxwise I use..... and just general accountingwise I use..... I too hope that you are well, I saw a great bumpersticker today that fits your new hobby of skeet shooting or whatever you do at the gun range it said "I miss my ex, but my aim is getting better." Well, let me know if you need anything else. As Garrison Keilor says "Be well, do good work and keep in touch." You know my number, unless of course you forgot it in the last five minutes. Well, I digress and ramble on and I have half a cocktail in front of me, a hot waitress, and a half ass interesting conversation with some guy from Germany to continue."

Posted by Jess at September 22, 2005 02:29 AM | TrackBack
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