How 'Bout Them Apples?

Conversations with random people... X6

Me: "I love lime."

Lady in line at the supermarket: "I love lemon."

Me: "I love sprite. Have you tried lime yet?"

Her: "Of course. My husband prefers lemon though so I buy lemon."

Me: "I have not met my wife yet. May never. If she dictates my citrus to me."

Her: "My husband is an overbearing prick."

Me: "My future wife will be a bitch."

Her: "How do you know?"

Me: "It is in my specs."

Her: "You havewife specs?"

Me: "Yup, they have to talk to me."

Her: "Most men are afraid to talk to me."

Me: "Why?"

Her: "I think it because... well, I don't know."

Me: "Nice shoes."

Her: "Why are you looking at my breasts and commenting on my shoes?"

Me: "I am a multi-tasker."

Her: "Want to hear a joke?"

Me: "It does not say anything about my penis size does it?"

Her: (Laughing) "You are funny."

Me: "Ah, but looks are not everything right?"

Her: "I wish I had met you when I was single."

Me: "I met Eddie Money once."

Her:

Me: "He really is a washed out prick, with a inflated sense of self importance, that Eddie Money."

Her: "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Me:

Her: "It is a fair question."

Me: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Her:

Me: "Have you ever read Samantha Burns?"

Her: "No. But I read Nietzsche."

Me: "Thus spoke Zarathuskra?"

Her: "..."

Me: "...."

Her: "..."

Me: "Did you hear the joke about thethree sad chickens?

Me: "..."

Her: "No."

Me: "I heard it once, but forgot the punchline, I was hoping for a refresher."

Her:

Me: "Moving on...."

Her: "I need some toilet paper...."

Me: "...."

Her: "Wanna walk with me...?"

Me: "...."

Her: "You are strange yet, for some reason I am attracted to you."

Me: "You do not where "Capri" pants do you?"

Her: "No."

Me: "Because well, if you did I would not be able to walk to the toilet paper aisle with you."

Her: "Why?"

Me: "Because anybody I see in those stupid fucking things I immediately despise, my take is that people either need to wear pants or shorts, not capris or skorts."

Her: "You are a case study for a person getting a doctorate in psych."

Posted by Jess at October 20, 2005 09:28 PM | TrackBack