December 13, 2005

Conversations with Clerks X4

Clerk: "...$10.04 please."

Me: "...Here is $10.05."

Clerk: "...Are you mocking me?"

Me: "...By not giving you correct change?"

Clerk: "...You know I can not stand you people and your nickels."

Me: "...So, I take it you wish I had given you four pennies?"

Clerk: "...Pennies are fundamentally important to our society."

Me: "...I did not have any pennies."

Clerk: "...Jackass."

Me: "...OK."

Clerk: "...If you picked up every penny you saw for a year, you could buy your wife a boob job."

Me: "...I don't have a wife."


Me: "...Besides, if I were to give you my pennies as you requested, I would not be saving for my wife, whom I have not met's boob job."



Clerk: "...Here is your penny."

Me: "...1 penny down, 24,999 to go."

Clerk: "...How did you get that number?"

Me: "...A simple formula my friend. $2500 for a boob job multiplied by 100 pennies per dollar = 25,000 pennies, -1 = 24,999 pennies remaining before I can pay for a boob job on a lady that I have not met."

Clerk: "...You can take that high falutent educated mathematics to the bedrooom and see how much good it does you."

Me: "...Huh? You lost me."

Posted by Jess at December 13, 2005 04:42 PM | TrackBack

OK.... so I should not be reading your site after a couple Scotches. Yup. It was very very funny though - just replace every "pennies" with "penises" and ... well. It's still funny, but has a completely different meaning.
I'm going home now. Very carefully.

Posted by: JulieB at December 15, 2005 06:11 PM

Be careful.

Posted by: jess @ at December 15, 2005 07:54 PM
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