Me: "So uh, what do you eat?"
Hermit: "...."
Me: "What about your toilet paper? Do you burn it? I doubt that there is trash service out here...."
Hermit: "...."
Me: "...And what about human companionship? Don't you still have male desires and think of women and the like?"
Hermit: "..."
Me: "..."
Hermit: "Don't you ever shut the FUCK up? What do I eat? Jesus what the fuck do you think I eat? I eat fucking pussy, the god damn newspaper lady and I get together and well, you know.... Toilet paper? I burn it, you dumb son of a bitch."
Me: "There is a burn ban in effect right now you know? The newspaper lady is she a writer or a carrier?"
Hermit: "...."
Me: "I know why you live in a cave in Collbran Colorado my friend... You lack social skills."
Hermit: "To quote Chris Rock "This is my house if you don't like it get the fuck out!"
Me: "Have you ever read Carl Hiassen?"
Hermit: "I like Skink."
Me: "He is a good egg."
Posted by Jess at June 28, 2007 10:07 PM | TrackBack