LOSLI: Not much to say lately or what?
Jess: Busy, busy, busy....
LOSLI: Yeah?
Jess: The thing about Texas is there are these things called "Chiggers" or "Red Bugs" I got into some. They burrow under your skin. I had to kill them. So I asked a native Texan how to get rid of them....
LOSLI: Right. Then what?
Jess: Well, they told me to bathe in bleach. Do you know how bad that hurts? Jesus man, I thought I was going to die. That prick told me to put in a gallon or so of clorox. You have never experienced pain until clorox hits your you knows...
LOSLI: Why didn't you just dab it on?
Jess: Hindsight is always 20-20.
LOSLI: What the hell? Are you some kind of a fucking moron?
Jess: Screw you and your all infinite fucking Clorox wisdom. You no blogging prick....
LOSLI: OK, do your thing there Clorox Kid.
Jess:
LOSLI: Hey, uh you don't happen to have any bleach do you?
Jess:
LOSLI: Come on now, I need some bleach.
Jess: Right.....
LOSLI: Because you know my balls are really feeling pretty good and I want to be a moron that puts them in a tub full of bleach, it must be some kind of right of passage from being an normal human being, to being a complete and utterly contempt fucking idiot.
*Update*
It's official, I am fucking tired. Too tired to care if any of you get this.
Unfuckingbelievable. Is this real? Or are you bullshitting us or what? I have to know.
Posted by: just james at June 5, 2005 12:16 AMGRRR!!!
STILL not remembered over nyah. [/Cartman]
Anyway, a story:
One especially poor PW decided to make homemade salsa for Christmas gifts.
I was going to make a large batch at once and bottle them with custom labels. I wanted something exceptional and memorable, so I went with a recipe that included habaneros, the hottest peppers on the planet. Taking great pains to get it right I roasted them first, and them peeled the loosened skins off. This process was excruciating, as the fumes from these peppers would burn your eyes at a 15-foot radius.
Anyway . . .
I had to pee.
I did not wash my hands first.
The labels I printed for my finished salsa sported the perfect name, reflecting my experience: Balls of Fire.
I just hope the salsa didn't have a "nutty" flavor.
...Sorry, couldn't help myself.
I think the worst thing that ever happened to me was some chick gave me a yeast infection, just at the tip. It burned to pee for a good month.
uh, bleach/balls.... BEACHBALLS? Nice one.
Oh, Charlie! auugg...
Jeremy... my oh my, way to pick 'em, kid!
I'm home with the flu from hell.
Posted by: JulieB at June 7, 2005 06:11 PM