July 26, 2005

Conversations with household appliances

Me: "Damn what is wrong with you? Damn dishwasher."

Dishwasher: "...."

Me: "That's what I thought punk."

Refrigerator: "Do you really think that talking to a dishwasher that is not here is going to make one appear? Oh and you really do need to get to washing those dishes. I smell a faint hint of three day old bacon coming from the sink."

Me: "..."

Refrigerator: "Hop to it there frenchie. Those dishes have not washed themselves yet and probably won't start. While your at it would you spray me down with the Clorox Clean Up? That shit is like a nice coconut tanning oil for a refridgerator."

Me: "..."

Refrigerator: "Daylight is wasting. Lets go soldier."

Me: "Sir yes sir."

Refrigerator: "Don't call me sir. I work for a living."

Me: "..."

Refrigerator: "Keeping food cool is a lot like pimping. It aint easy."

Posted by Jess at July 26, 2005 09:02 PM | TrackBack

Hmm...I think the refridgerator is finding the freezer to be a bit "frigid" when it comes to its sex life. Maybe you do need to get a dishwasher to spice things up in the kitchen.

Posted by: Biologisvensk at July 27, 2005 02:23 AM

This is a bad time to bring up this subject. My toaster and I have not been on speaking terms for over a week. I have no real disageements with the damned machine. I just resent the constant attitude.

Posted by: Nickie Goomba at July 27, 2005 06:06 PM

I need a microwave. A dishwasher would be sweet, but right now-with no furnature and a room-mate who hasn't been paid yet I would settle for a microwave.

Posted by: erica at July 27, 2005 08:58 PM

Nick, Erica,
Thank you both for coming by and commenting.

Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at July 27, 2005 09:27 PM

WHAT?! I don't exist now?! *sticks out tongue* Bastard!

Posted by: Biologisvensk at July 27, 2005 10:29 PM

You know I would have to stand on a chair just to kiss your beautifully thonged ass. Ha ha

Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at July 27, 2005 10:32 PM

Nickie, stroke the toaster, it'll respond. Trust me on this.
Jess, Jess, you shouldn't diss Heather like that. Really.

Posted by: JulieB at July 28, 2005 10:51 PM
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