How 'Bout Them Apples?

My First Conversation with a Waitresses Munu Style

Me: "Hi."

Waitress: "Hi. How are you today?"

Me: "I get better all the time like fine wine old cheese and good women."

Waitress: (To my co-worker) "Is he full of shit or is he just this flattering?"

Co-worker: "He is just Jess."

Waitress (To co-worker) "Does he talk all the time? Or is he just trying to impress me?"

CW: "He is always this way though his eyes did light up when you walked up to the table."

Me: "I am not sure about that. By the way I am Jess."

Waitress: "I am H."

Me: Right. "Nice to meet you madame." (Take her hand in mine)

CW: "See what I mean?"

Waitress: "He makes me feel like I am the only woman in the room or the world."

Me: "Quite simply you are the only one that can take my order."

CW: (As waitress walks away) "How do you do it?"

Me: "Do what?"

CW: "Waitresses at every restaurant we go to love you. How?"

Me: "Well, when they wait on you, they basically have to talk to you."

H.: "Hi Sweetie, here is your water." (Smiles sweetly)

CW: "Unfuckingbelievable." (As H. walks away.)

Me: "Try being friendly to people they respond."

CW: "My wife would not like that."

Me: "Nice thought though huh?"

H.: "One chicken caesar salad for you."

Me: "Thanks H. "

CW: "I ordered the sandwich."

H.: "Oh yeah. Here you go sir."

CW: "Thanks."

A FEW MINUTES LATER

H.: (To co-worker) "Do you want a desert?"

CW: "Yes. A peach cobbler." (Waitress walks away)

CW: She did not ask you if you wanted desert too.

Me: Oh well.

H: (To co-worker) "Here is your peach cobbler"

H: (To me) "I brought you a rasberry cheesecake. I thought my sweetest customer deserved my sweetest desert. I bought it for you too."

Me: "Am I blushing?"

Posted by Jess at July 27, 2005 08:37 PM | TrackBack