Me: ".... So how are you?"
Pear: ".... I woke up."
Me: ".... Were you asleep?"
Pear: "... I was napping."
Me: "... Should I let you go?"
Pear: "... We gonna hit the clubs tonight?"
Me: "... I don't see why not."
Pear: "...It's settled then. I am going to shake it like a polaroid picture."
Me: "... How do you go about doing that without legs and all? I can see you rolling but dancing... Sounds doubtful."
Pear: "....Don't hate the player fool. Hate the game."
*UPDATE The pear dissapeared I think he went to the restroom a few minutes later our conversation resumed.*
Me: "...I hear ya dawg."
Pear: "...When I was in the VA I saw Jeremy "The pipmpmonger" Bol. He can dance. Yo Pimpmonger pass the Henessy. Smoke a Cuban Dawg... We feel ya."
Me: "...Sounds like fun, you two are both cool kats, not that I am calling you pussies or anything, kats like James Dean ya know."
Pear: "...Julie B is going to be Mrs. Pear."
Me: "... Does she know that?"
Pear: "... Yo Julie, girl hit me up. 800-BIG-PEAR."
Pear: "... She understands how my leaves work."
Me: "...You are a crazy fucker aren't you."
Pear: "... Takes one to know one, dumbass."
*UPDATE 2* 4 Julie B, who wondered if the East coast girls enjoyed the big succulent
Pear: "... I was reminded of the Game's song "How We Do" ... You know the part where he said "These G-Unit girls just want to have fun. Coke and Rum." Big Succulent enjoyed as did the ladies the swallowing of the succulentness. Sadly though One said I was to "gritty." I told her to go eat a fucking kiwi. They are hairy. I am smooth, let that hooker experience bad fruit... just once. She will be back begging me to bring my "grittyness."
Me: "... Wow. You are something. I take it you are getting inspiration from the comments."
Pear: ".... Mind your own bidness. If I could type your ass would officially be obsolete."
Posted by Jess at June 15, 2005 05:27 PM
Pear has truly amazing leaves... he uses them to work the TV remote when you're not looking...yeah, uh huh, he does... I have pictures... (ow, Pear! stop.. ok, ok, I won't show him the pictures... ouch!!)
So you'll just have to take my word for it.
Posted by: JulieB at June 15, 2005 05:42 PMI saw pear out here at one of the local clubs a few weeks back. The girls were all over him. He's quite the pimp you know.
Strange thing though, they weren't calling him sexy, but suculent.
Posted by: Jeremy at June 15, 2005 05:50 PMROFLMAO - - succulent! ahhh, right Jeremy! But the big question is: Did they swallow?
Sorry... I know you'll delete this comment later Jess, you can do that, I understand, it was just, just tooo tempting.
Posted by: JulieB at June 15, 2005 06:34 PMI won't delete it. This is a free speech zone. No comments deleted.
Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at June 15, 2005 06:39 PMOH Pear! We need to talk, babe. That was a "No promises, just good for you and me" moment and you know that!