June 15, 2005

True story....

I am a cellphone person. I travel a lot. It is the only way to get a hold of me most of the time.

I program a lot of numbers into it, as a matter of fact most every number that I dial I program in. I rarely erase numbers, but often when a romance ends I will change the names of the certain women to "Do not answer." "She is Crazy" "Not Tonight." I usually change their ringtones to "Mo Money Mo Problems." I do this so that if they call and alcohol has been flowing, I do not tell some psychotic lady "Baby, I bet you look good tonight. I miss you. Hell I even love you." This lesson also usually helps deter me from "Drunk Dialing"

I am spending some time this week, in one of my company's other offices. After introductions to everyone this morning, I went to talk to the local manager in his office. I forgot I had left my cellphone in the front area on the receptionist desk.

I hear footsteps approaching the manager's office. The receptionist comes up.

Receptionist: "...Mr. Jesse you have a call."

Me: "...What does the Caller ID say?"

Receptionist: "... The Bitch"

Me: ".... Hit that bottom button on the side. It will shut it off."

Receptionist: "...Ex eh?"

Me: "...Yup."

Receptionist: "... That's a hell of an idea. It would prevent drunk dials"

Me: (To manager) "...She is smart."

Who is "The Bitch?" I dated her about a year and a half ago, she is a cocktail waitress, with an ass that doesn't quit and an attitude that would make Christ cry. She is about as charming as a female crocodile during menopause.

Posted by Jess at June 15, 2005 05:53 PM

Ok... ROFLMAO, had a visual there with the crocodile and certain male body parts and ... oh geezz.... oh jess, thanks. . .

Posted by: JulieB at June 15, 2005 06:31 PM

I aim to please Jules. I do indeed.

Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at June 15, 2005 06:50 PM

I am dying over here. That was hilarious! I need to remember this tactic.

Posted by: Biologisvensk at June 16, 2005 04:31 AM

It works Heather it really does. The one downside to this, is if you ever work it ou with them and they happen to check your phonebook. They tend to get a little pissy when they see themselves listed as "Whiny Slut" Yes that did happen. Yes, it was a short lived reunion of our relationship.

Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at June 16, 2005 06:18 AM

Creative genius ... meet ... Practicality. Very funny. You know, though, Jess ... if you stay away from them to begin with ... never mind.

Posted by: DC at June 16, 2005 08:15 AM

I could not be that intelligent. Nice thought though.

Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at June 16, 2005 08:49 AM

I work for a wireless carrier, and I love when stuff like that comes up on peoples phones.

Posted by: William Teach at June 16, 2005 12:20 PM

Someday soon I will post all of my names in the phones with an explanation for each. Most are quite interesting.

Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at June 16, 2005 01:26 PM

Gotta say Jess that I have never been so pathetic as to go thru the cellphone numbers on a boyfriend's phone. If you go lookin' for trouble eventually you find it.

Posted by: JulieB at June 16, 2005 03:07 PM

Indeed. The logic behind my cellphone is that you never know when you will need to talk to someone and won't have a phone list. If a girl gets jealous over other numbers it is time for her to go.

Posted by: jess @ LOSLI at June 16, 2005 03:12 PM

I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this. I have quite a few in my phone since I've had the same number for years.

Posted by: Jenn at June 17, 2005 09:13 AM

funny STORYIsn't it? HA HA HA HA HA HA

Posted by: ROSSY at June 22, 2005 07:16 AM
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