I went to see Brokeback Mountain with Stevens and Huckabee last night down at the Happy Parrot Nightclub and Movie Theatre. I should have known that something had gone terribly array when I walked in to this place and was greeted by a 300 pound bald man wearing an outfit made of what appeared to be fruit roll ups. Stevens and Huckabee each grabbed a piece of that fella's outfit which I might add was small for his size anyway and proceeded to feed each other. We made our past a couple of lipstick lesbians that I believe that within 5 minutes of our meeting I could have brought them over to my side of the fence. Anyway, we purchased our popcorn to shareand got seated.
I heard Huckabee who was sitting in the middle between Stevens and I open up his pocket knife. I then heard him cutting on something. I told him that the theatre and I were going to sue him if he caused any damage to the seats or me.
The previews were mostly for lesbo porn. I did not mind that. The movie started, and I realized that it was a western. Immediately I got excited. I heard Stevens whispering in Huckabee's ear about the foreman's plugs. I hope that they are not worried about plugs when work ended hours before, but a little dedication never hurt any one. Especially when they work for me.
About halfway through the movie I realized, that these cowboys were playing for the "pink team" so to speak. I wondered if the movie had cast some sort of voodoo over the boys, I looked over and saw Stevens kiss Huckabee, this was just too much for me to take. I reached, grabbed one last handful of popcorn and got a hold of something other than popcorn.
Huckabee had cut a hole in the bottom of the tub and placed his manhood through there. I grabbed Huckabee's manhood. Oh shit.
I dropped the popcorn and his manhood and ran. I went to the washroom and encountered two of my labors Jones and Rodriguez holding hands as I passed them. I scrubbed my hand for a good five minutes.
Review-
Never finished it but I give it 3 hammers out of 5. I mean the cinematography was exceptional. Don't go see it though, cuz if you make the whole movie in the theatre, well consequenses will arise. You will turn into a princess like that fat girl who drives the Audi down the block thinks she is. And that my friends is no way to be.
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I have since filed litigation with the courts, to sue the Gay Parrot as well as Stevens. I would sue Huckabee but, I don't want to go near him. Bad memories there.
Awww, poor Steve! How shocking that they played the popcorn trick on you!! tsk tsk.
Movie is playing up the road from me. We'll go see it next weekend - this weekend, with the rain pouring down, people are paying $7.50 just to get away from their families for a few hours....